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Why is so difficult to love oneself?

Did you know that 841 million people asked google almost the same question: How to love myself? How in a world is possible that instead of self love, self hatred is the most common thing among people? I could go on with many other questions related to this phenomena that is destroying people's life, but let me do my best to explain the things from my perspective as therapist and hypnotherapist.

Every client I ever worked with had lack of self love. Some were completely conscious and aware of it while others were completely unaware. Lack of self love is a road to addiction, psycho-somatic diseases, destructive behaviour, anxiety, toxic relationships, depression, low self esteem, low self value... because how in a world can you be self confident if you don't love yourself, or at least feel good about yourself. Self-confidence is all about comfort and safety, all about feeling god in your own skin.

How much you approve of yourself is in direct proportion to how much happiness, joy and love you can experience in life. The truth is that nobody is going to love you more than you love and appreciate yourself. Please remember that. How much you love yourself is exactly how much anyone in your life will love you, because the truth is that unconsciously we never allow anyone to love us more than we love ourselves.

There are too many women who know that very well and that is the reason why they leave a man because "he is just too good " for them and they prefer some though guys or they tell me it is because they love bing the hunters. I know it is their ego at play trying to mask the real cause of why they don't like good men. What actually is going on is they are not used to love and kindness and appreciation, they are used to being rejected and feeling bad and running and chasing that man believing there is something special about him and that is why they are so "crazy' about him, when in therapy we know: rejection breeds obsession. Quote from one of my many female clients: "I know true love exists because of how much I am obsessed with him". It took me a few seconds to process what she really meant and then after couple of sessions she came to the conclusion that obsession is definitely not love.

So, what is self love?

Self love is a practice and it's a skill that takes work, but after that work is done ( and with hypnotherapy those negative patterns can be changed easily and naturally) and new loving you emerge, I cannot explain you enough how your life is going to flourish and change. It is beyond your imagination. The good news is that self love can transform you to the deepest levels of your being and your perception of yourself and what is possible for you will change drastically, because only when you love yourself fully you feed your soul and then and only then you can become the best version of yourself: playful, interesting, funny, beautiful and fulfilled. I believe that the word "fulfilled" comes from: full feeling, so not having that full feeling of love and appreciation for yourself is a big obstacle in life. Did you know that more and more therapists and coaches agree that without self love you drastically decrease your ability to be successful at anything. Failed businesses, relationships, ideas, procrastination, laziness all come from lack of self love and by itself lack of self confidence. Self love and self acceptance has over and over again been shown to be a key indicator of success and self love is the next step.

to be continued....Please read this many times if needed and get ready for the part two where I will explain how we have been conditioned not to love ourselves and brainwashed to believe in false things that only if we have them or buy them, we are going to love ourselves more and be happy.

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